Well. First, I should preface this by emphasizing that there were many wonderful things that happened in 2009...my son has had the opportunity to experience Wyoming - a place I'd love to see; full of beauty and wonder and SNOW. It was sad to say goodbye to him knowing we'd be apart for a long time, but he is doing fine and learning how the rest of the world outside of our little state lives.
My grandson has grown brighter and more surprising with every word that comes out of his mouth.
My daughter, Raychel, has met the love of her life.
Meghan, Cody, Hayden, and all of us survived a round of Swine Flu with little struggle.
Rick made a law-enforcement career move that we've wanted for a long time...and started two additional careers along-side that; one a protective consultant business, the other a mission church. (Oh, he has LOTS of things keeping him busy!)
I had beautiful, healthy twin girls born into my extended family.
I have managed to lose 45 pounds the old-fashioned way, and it feels good. Still have another 45 to go.
My 2 year old grand-niece has had miracle upon miracle materialize to enable her to battle and survive brain cancer...and the trial of it has brought my family closer to God.
I'm sure those are not the only things that happened that were good...just some from the top of my head. I, myself, also woke up every morning, stood on two legs, ate, had a roof overhead, avoided accidents and major illness, and turned 46 years old. Considering the alternative, not a bad year, most would think.
Of all of the things that I prayed for this year, the one thing on this earth I wanted to be resolved more than anything has gone unresolved, and ultimately failed to thrive. It is something I have staked my whole life on up until the point at which it began to die. My fault, I guess, for putting my eggs into that flimsy basket. I didn't listen when the voice came loud and clear - "it's gone." It has been a learning experience to say the least, to discover that no matter how much you want something, no matter how important it is to you, we cannot control other people or make them feel what we'd like. You say to yourself, "if I just do this, it will be ok..." or "I just need to communicate my needs better," or "it just takes time..." when in reality, it was never meant to happen...and you realize you are the only one who cared about it that much.
So, with the turning of the year, one hope dies and another one is born; the hope of a future, the hope of something new and better. What will I pray for this year?
Lexie's continued healing.
Hayden's continued brightness and goodness.
All Souls Mission to glorify God.
My children's relationships to be better every day.
For all of us to grow closer to God.
An end to secrecy and deception among loved ones everywhere.
The recovery of my sense of self-worth.
Appropriate restoration of my pride in who I am and what I will put up with.
Courage to move forward.
Peace with the unfortunate endings...
and joy and dancing in the happy beginnings.
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